YouTube

It’s time I get back to my YouTube channel.

I have been told I give great advice and I know I am very realistic and don’t sugar coat the truth.

I need anyone who is willing to help to email me their issue that they need advice on. I will reply to you with the advice and then you can tell me if I can use your situation/problem as a topic on my channel.

I will not use any names unless you want me to.

My e-mail is kilishayeva@yahoo.com

Thank you!!!

Relationships & Family Drama

How many of you have had a relationship where the family was against it? What about where just some people in the family always have something to say whether you are with an amazing person or just a plain old bum? How about that one miserable aunt or cousin that wants to talk/judge everyone to bring everyone down to their level? How much can you deal with? Are you willing to let your boyfriend/girlfriend go because of what your family thinks/says?  Yeah! One time or another we have all been there.

There are many, many, reasons why there maybe that tension between your mama/daddy and your “hubby”/”wifey”. A lot of times this drama is a bit more understanding then when aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents have something to say. All types of issues arise when it comes to relationships and family. He/she is not the same race, they don’t have the same beliefs, they are only with you because of your job, he/she is a bum, his/her job isn’t good enough…the list goes on and on… My favorite is “What will people say/think?”

Now let’s just think about that statement “What will people think/say?” How many people does it take to be in a relationship? How many people does it take to make a relationship work? Sometimes you just have to follow your heart and block everyone out. Could that be a mistake? Absolutely! If it is it will be one of the biggest lessons of your life, either way it is a win, win situation. Now there are some family members who are miserable and have a lot of insecurities about their baggage therefore they will try to bring you and your relationship down by any means necessary. For example, there are several family members in my family who had/have some type of issue against my marriage. They say “She didn’t marry a Jew!” or my favorite “She left home and got married too young.” This is coming from distant family, the reasons why exactly are still unknown. Now i believe everyone is entitled to their own opinions and thoughts but you can not have an opinion unless you know the real relationship inside and out. Which 90% of the time is not the case. I have been with the same person for 10.5 years and our relationship/marriage only gets better and stronger with time. There fore my decision always has and always will be “It is about us and us only! You don’t like it? Remove yourself from my life or I will remove you myself!” I know where my heart is and i know what is best for my life. I refuse to ever go by what someone else thinks is best. One day mom/dad, grandma/grandpa, aunts/uncles will pass on and we have to be okay with the decision we made because we will be left to live the remainder of our lives without those people that tried to influence us to leave the one we love.

By writing about this am i saying “Never listen to family!” Not at all, what i am saying is sometimes only you know best and only you know the truth.

I have a friend, but let’s call her Liz and we will call her husband Paul. She has been married for almost a year and they both come from two completely different kind of families, yet they both have a lot of siblings. Her family has not had any issues and are very accepting. His family/sisters have not let her breathe! The sisters think that whatever they say or however they were raised is how she should be with her husband. Meaning babying him, listening to them, and accepting them while they judge her, put her down, and continue to stick their nose into their life. One sister for example made it a big deal when Liz didn’t show up to the airport when her husband returned from a trip. She said is she was Liz she would be there waiting for him with a hot plate. Now Liz and Paul had an understanding and a plan which is why she wasn’t there. Just from one sister saying something, everyone jumped on the bandwagon including a cousin who all decided to try and gang up against my friend Liz. Now Liz can easily stand up for herself but she should not have to. The husband should have put his foot down the first time this ever happened and made it known that if he is unhappy with something him and his wife will work on it together. In my opinion families should only see you happy! If you are married or are in any relationship there will be a lot of issues you face as a couple, that doesn’t mean go run and share with your family everything. Never forget that families do not forgive as fast as you do.

I have also noticed a lot of mothers get jealous/protective/guarded when it comes to the son’s wife/girlfriend. A lot of times it is because a mother can see right through those that surround her kids. A mother can’t sit back and let her child be controlled or changed in front of her eyes. A lot of women tend to find a man and try to mold him into what/who she’s dreamed of spending her life with. These actions with these women is a recipe for a disaster.

Now! How to deal with these issues? If you are willing to fight for your relationship then let your family know from day one. Let them know “I know who and what i am dealing with let me deal with this myself. If i get hurt then i will learn from it. If i end up marrying this person then this is where i am meant to be.” If there is drama back and forth between sisters, mom, dad, and your other half you have to know once you are married your husband/wife is first place, so if you have to distance yourself for sometime for them to realize that then that is what you need to do. On the other hand sometimes just listen to what your family is saying and take it into consideration. Love can be blind…Love for your other half and the love you have for your family.

 

How do you feel about LOVE?

Love is definitely not something you play with and most certainly don’t just throw around. I feel like now days everyone wants to be in love but doesn’t truly know what it is. Along with not knowing, they want to be loved in the most unconditional way but don’t really know how to love themselves. How is that possible? How can you want someone to give you something you aren’t even able to give yourself.

Loving someone is not something that happens over night or in a month. It takes time, patience, and knowledge. You have to know the person inside out to truly love them. You have to love them for them and not for who you want them to be. A lot of people fall in love with someone because of the idea they have of this person, that’s where they go wrong. They get hurt and blame the person, but why? they were just being themselves! You have to accept everything that comes with that person. Whether is is a way of life, their specific way of thinking, their family, and anything else they may bring to the table(sometimes they come with kids).

Once it’s found and it’s true there is no better feeling. To know that there is something you can’t see and you can’t touch but makes you feel so great. It makes life a lot easier, a lot more manageable and quiet pleasing. With love comes support, promise, sacrifice, and planning. Most wonderful thing that comes from love is from the point you find it you have a partner to build a life with, family, kids, businesses, and you live your life knowing you are not alone! In that LOVE you find a friend, partner, diary, husband/wife!

Now how do you think i feel about LOVE? ❤