YouTube

It’s time I get back to my YouTube channel.

I have been told I give great advice and I know I am very realistic and don’t sugar coat the truth.

I need anyone who is willing to help to email me their issue that they need advice on. I will reply to you with the advice and then you can tell me if I can use your situation/problem as a topic on my channel.

I will not use any names unless you want me to.

My e-mail is kilishayeva@yahoo.com

Thank you!!!

Our Miscarriage Before Our Biggest Blessing.

 

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October 2013.
I’ve already had one appointment at 8 weeks and it went pretty well.
I was 10 weeks pregnant. Woke up in the morning took Curtis(my husband) to the airport and headed into work. Around noon I got these really sharp pains in my lower abdomen. I headed to the hospital because the pain was not going away and felt like it was only getting worst. They sent me for some tests and did an ultrasound. Until this day I swear I heard a heartbeat but maybe it was wishful thinking.

Read the Rest Here.

A woman who’s a wife, a daughter, a mother…

You often hear women say “What does he have to offer?”, “What can he do for me?”, etc. My question is are women not always fighting to be equal? Why does he have to offer you something? What does he have to do for you? Why not ask “What can we accomplish TOGETHER?”, “What can we do for one another?” Many women tend to forget to look in the mirror. Just being born a woman you have lots of responsibilities!

Read more:

http://spoonfullofmill.com/a-woman/

Husband

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(June 2008)

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(June 2008)

A little over 11 years ago I met a kid who would one day become my husband. I say a kid because we were 14 years old when we met and really knew nothing about life and what was in store for us. We didn’t have many things in common and we definitely didn’t think alike. 11 years is a really long time so it’s clear that those years brought a lot of good, a lot of bad and a lot of knowledge. When we met and all through high school he never knew where to take his life, what life should/would be like after graduation, can’t even say he had goals or plans. For me, as long as i can remember my parents always taught me to have a solid plan and I had to be successful. Well, when I decided that I wanted to be with this kid I knew I wouldn’t settle for anything less than a MAN with a plan. To me staying in one spot was never an option. We as people must always grow, learn, expand our comfort zones and really live. So, I started asking him what he wanted to do with his life? Where did he want to be in 3,4,5 years? He probably thought I was crazy because we were still in HS!! I made sure to paint the picture of the life I wanted to have and it was up to him to create that life with me.

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June 2013 in Miami

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June 2013

Well, I am proud to say that kid has never disappointed me when it came to our life. We grew up quickly and have been moving along in life better and faster than I ever imagined. Everything I have wanted in life WE got. He is not lazy! He has plans! He has goals! He has drive! && He loves! He works harder than anyone I know, makes sure we have all we need…& want. The best part of all of this is we have one vision now. We see life the same and we work as a team to reach our dreams. I am proud of my husband because there are so many excuses laying around in the world that he could have held onto and tried to use. Most importantly I love how much he loves our daughter! They always say “show your daughter what a man is supposed to be so she knows what to look for in a husband”. I don’t have any doubt that she has a great example to compare to.

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Ava & Curtis Summer 2014

Some people search a lifetime for a man/woman they can build with. We were lucky enough to find that without even looking. I am blessed & highly favored.

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Kendra & Hank Renew their Vows

WOW!

By now I am sure everyone knows that Hank cheated on Kendra with a transgender male, who is now a female, well almost. She still has some male parts left. Since the news broke in the summer it has been in every magazine, blog, gossip sites, etc. Last week Hank agreed to take a lie detector test and FAILED.

Now, ladies, don’t you know your husband well enough that you just know when he is lying? Especially when he is moping around the house depressed and miserable. If he did not cheat he would not be phased by this “rumor”. I would not be depressed and I would not be worried about losing my family.

Kendra kept asking for the truth but he wasn’t giving it to her. If you ask me, she knew as soon as she heard it. A woman knows when something is true! Kendra seems like she is all talk after watching their show.

Now, they went on the show called Marriage Boot Camp and apparently were working on their problems. All of the sudden they are renewing their vows. How can you renew something that is broken? You can not renew a broken lamp. The crack will always be there and it will never look the same. Yes! They have 2 kids but there is also a thing called trust. Trust is a part of every marriage. A huge part! How can she trust him to walk out the house without her and not do it again. He kept confessing his love for her to her, in my eyes the love is not that strong since he went and cheated WHILE she was 8 months pregnant.

Vows are a promise that you make to one another to be honest, loyal, faithful, to love one another, to care for one another, to walk through life together, etc. The only other party that should be involved in your marriage is God. When those vows are broken it’s really hard to start over as if nothing ever happened. The hurt can not be erased and can not be hidden. That brings me to…What is the reason they renewed their vows so quickly. The problem is still very real and very true.

I want to hear from you!

What do you think about the renewal of Kendra’s and Hank’s Vows.

Never Speak Negative of your Significant Other.

f7877e31caa30acd298e64a7421e1866You and your significant other just had a huge fight, what do you do? Do you pick up the phone and call your girlfriends/guy friends to fill them in? Do you call your mom? What is it that you would usually do?

First thing first! When you called those you trust you were angry, emotional, and maybe a tad bit dramatic. You spoke in a way where everything you did/said was right and everything your spouse said/did was wrong. If that wasn’t the case there would have been no argument. Also, more than likely there was no real resolution to the argument because if there was you wouldn’t care enough to fill anyone in.

Second thing. Don’t ever forget your mom doesn’t love your spouse like you do. Your friends probably don’t care enough to try and fix your problems for you and don’t forget they will take your side. Usually when a loved one is hurt in anyway people tend to want to make them feel better and protect them. Great! Now you have created the bad guy, your family and friends will look at him/her sideways.

When you are married your love and bond is unbreakable. Meaning just because you argue doesn’t mean you don’t like one another or you will not forgive him/her. All this means is marriage problems are temporary when it is between two people. When/if the problem/argument is passed on it becomes permanent. You forgive your spouse within a matter of hours…right? Family and friends will fake it,  but they will question your spouse’s behavior until their last breath. They will not forgive as easy and you will only give your family/friends a reason to not have a good relationship with your other half. They will hold everything you told them against your relationship.

No matter what you should never allow anyone to talk down on your significant other. Always speak good about him/her. You have to respect one another at home and in public. The second you say something negative you are opening a door for others to talk about him/her. Choose your words wisely and always protect your home!

Respect your self & your marriage.

Do you have problems that you need advice on? Are you stuck in a situation and don’t know what to do? Feel free to ask for help/advice below. You do not have to leave your real name!

Relationships & Family Drama

How many of you have had a relationship where the family was against it? What about where just some people in the family always have something to say whether you are with an amazing person or just a plain old bum? How about that one miserable aunt or cousin that wants to talk/judge everyone to bring everyone down to their level? How much can you deal with? Are you willing to let your boyfriend/girlfriend go because of what your family thinks/says?  Yeah! One time or another we have all been there.

There are many, many, reasons why there maybe that tension between your mama/daddy and your “hubby”/”wifey”. A lot of times this drama is a bit more understanding then when aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents have something to say. All types of issues arise when it comes to relationships and family. He/she is not the same race, they don’t have the same beliefs, they are only with you because of your job, he/she is a bum, his/her job isn’t good enough…the list goes on and on… My favorite is “What will people say/think?”

Now let’s just think about that statement “What will people think/say?” How many people does it take to be in a relationship? How many people does it take to make a relationship work? Sometimes you just have to follow your heart and block everyone out. Could that be a mistake? Absolutely! If it is it will be one of the biggest lessons of your life, either way it is a win, win situation. Now there are some family members who are miserable and have a lot of insecurities about their baggage therefore they will try to bring you and your relationship down by any means necessary. For example, there are several family members in my family who had/have some type of issue against my marriage. They say “She didn’t marry a Jew!” or my favorite “She left home and got married too young.” This is coming from distant family, the reasons why exactly are still unknown. Now i believe everyone is entitled to their own opinions and thoughts but you can not have an opinion unless you know the real relationship inside and out. Which 90% of the time is not the case. I have been with the same person for 10.5 years and our relationship/marriage only gets better and stronger with time. There fore my decision always has and always will be “It is about us and us only! You don’t like it? Remove yourself from my life or I will remove you myself!” I know where my heart is and i know what is best for my life. I refuse to ever go by what someone else thinks is best. One day mom/dad, grandma/grandpa, aunts/uncles will pass on and we have to be okay with the decision we made because we will be left to live the remainder of our lives without those people that tried to influence us to leave the one we love.

By writing about this am i saying “Never listen to family!” Not at all, what i am saying is sometimes only you know best and only you know the truth.

I have a friend, but let’s call her Liz and we will call her husband Paul. She has been married for almost a year and they both come from two completely different kind of families, yet they both have a lot of siblings. Her family has not had any issues and are very accepting. His family/sisters have not let her breathe! The sisters think that whatever they say or however they were raised is how she should be with her husband. Meaning babying him, listening to them, and accepting them while they judge her, put her down, and continue to stick their nose into their life. One sister for example made it a big deal when Liz didn’t show up to the airport when her husband returned from a trip. She said is she was Liz she would be there waiting for him with a hot plate. Now Liz and Paul had an understanding and a plan which is why she wasn’t there. Just from one sister saying something, everyone jumped on the bandwagon including a cousin who all decided to try and gang up against my friend Liz. Now Liz can easily stand up for herself but she should not have to. The husband should have put his foot down the first time this ever happened and made it known that if he is unhappy with something him and his wife will work on it together. In my opinion families should only see you happy! If you are married or are in any relationship there will be a lot of issues you face as a couple, that doesn’t mean go run and share with your family everything. Never forget that families do not forgive as fast as you do.

I have also noticed a lot of mothers get jealous/protective/guarded when it comes to the son’s wife/girlfriend. A lot of times it is because a mother can see right through those that surround her kids. A mother can’t sit back and let her child be controlled or changed in front of her eyes. A lot of women tend to find a man and try to mold him into what/who she’s dreamed of spending her life with. These actions with these women is a recipe for a disaster.

Now! How to deal with these issues? If you are willing to fight for your relationship then let your family know from day one. Let them know “I know who and what i am dealing with let me deal with this myself. If i get hurt then i will learn from it. If i end up marrying this person then this is where i am meant to be.” If there is drama back and forth between sisters, mom, dad, and your other half you have to know once you are married your husband/wife is first place, so if you have to distance yourself for sometime for them to realize that then that is what you need to do. On the other hand sometimes just listen to what your family is saying and take it into consideration. Love can be blind…Love for your other half and the love you have for your family.